


I'm Not the Only One

by butterbutt (orphan_account)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 16:52:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2355647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/butterbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though he comes back every night, it's as if he isn't there.</p><p>Inspired by: "I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not the Only One

_"You and me, we made a vow_

_for better or for worse_

_I can’t believe you let me down_

_but the proof’s in the way it hurts_

_-_

_For months on end I’ve had my doubts_

_Denying every tear_

_I wish this would be over now_

_But I know that I still need you here_

_-_

_You’ve been so unavailable_

_Now sadly I know why_

_Your heart is unobtainable_

_Even though Lord knows you kept mine_

_-_

_I have loved you for many years_

_Maybe I am just not enough_

_You’ve made me realize my deepest fear_

_By lying and tearing us up_

_-_

_You say I’m crazy_

_'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_

_But when you call me baby_

_**I know I’m not the only one.** ”_

([I'm Not the Only One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_-U6dcTEOg) by Sam Smith)

 

* * *

When I was small, I had these dreams that I’d get married and have kids. They were good dreams, though people thought I was too domestic and girly. I didn’t give a shit about what they thought, though. I was my own person; I was strong in my own right and ready to stand up for what I wanted.

Sometimes I wonder where that person went. 

One of my dreams came true. I married someone, though I didn’t get married to a woman as I had originally imagined. I married Aomine Daiki, a dumbass and a genius all rolled into one. I love him, his idiotic tendencies and all. We can’t have kids, not naturally, anyway, but I wanted to adopt. He was reluctant about it and I knew why.

It had to do with this very moment. It had to do with the fact that I was watching him as he walked out the front door of our apartment suitcase in hand. A “business trip” he called it, as he  _always_ called it. 

But I knew better. 

I’m sure it was all business; I’m sure the traces of lipstick on his shirt, the nearly invisible hickies, the faint smell of perfume was all business. 

I really wonder where that person went, the past me who stood up for myself, the past me who wouldn’t take any one else’s shit.

“See you in two days,” he grinned, looking back at me. I forced the corners of my lips to pull into a smile. How could he still look at me, still  _talk_ to me, as if he hadn’t held another woman in his arms as I sat at home with a dinner that had gotten cold? He faced me to kiss my lips, but I moved little. His deceiving lips fell onto the corner of my mouth, instead and he frowned. “What’s wrong?”

I fibbed. “Coming down with a cold or somethin’.”

He hummed and looked into my eyes, smirking, “Okay, get better so I can fuck you raw when I come back.” 

I rolled my eyes, letting a small, forced smile onto my face. When he turned around to face the door, I could feel my fingers go cold. I could feel throbbing where he kissed me, as if he had punched me and there was a tingling numb after-effect. For the 30th time that month, I wondered ‘ _how could he_ ’?

I retorted with a “Or I’ll fuck you raw,” as Aomine was halfway out the door. He gave a half wave and chuckled.

“In your dreams, Bakagami.”

The door slammed shut and I walked slowly towards it. With each step I could feel the dread curl inside of me.  _‘What if he doesn’t come back?’_ my brain asked, ‘ _What if he realizes that I’ll never satisfy him like the woman he holds every other night?’_ I looked through the peephole of our front door, watching his retreating back and the hearing the beep of the car unlocking. I imagined the slender arm of a woman,  _his_ woman, wrapped around his waist. I imagined blood red painted fingernails that would rake down his back. I imagined her soft supple skin that he would kiss and mark. I imagined her full lips that would moan his name sweetly.

I didn’t feel anything as my fist hit the door.

Looking down, I was almost tempted to break my fingers, break every bone in my body. I didn’t want to feel the tearing of my heart, the crushing of my soul. I would rather withstand my fingernails ripped off, a billion tiny cuts, limbs burned off one by one. My bloody knuckles quivered and I clenched my teeth, acutely aware of my weakness. Why was I still around him? Why was I enduring this? Too many times had I asked those questions. Too many times as I would stand and watch him walk out the door. Too many times as I would listen to him give the excuse that “work was exhausting” that day and that he couldn’t make love.

I don’t know what happened or what went through my mind as I slid to the floor. I curled against it and sat, my head between my knees. I was aware of the cold ground, the roaring of my heart, the throbbing of where Aomine had kissed me.

I chanted to myself as I did every day.

_He’ll come back._

_He’ll love you._

_He’ll stay._

And I stood up, air coming back into my lungs. It was just another day. I would endure because Aomine came back for a reason. He comes back because he loves me, too.

_But you aren’t the only one._

_You deserve more than this_.

_He isn’t who you think he is._

As I walked down the hallway I wondered again: where was the past me who stood up for myself? The creaking of the floorboards and the clenching of my fists were the only things that held me to reality. I resisted the part of my brain that screamed at me, “Leave, you idiot! He’s cheating on you. He  _isn’t yours_!” 

But I realized that I need him and I love him-

-so I continued down the empty hallway.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on here in case you don't follow me on Tumblr (url: luvrbutt)! I'm sorry for the random angst; my LINE friends went crazy on the angst.
> 
> I highly recommend listening to Sam Smith all day every day.
> 
> Brie


End file.
